


Integrate

by lesbianneptune



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 08:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1640540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianneptune/pseuds/lesbianneptune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vanille wonders how she ever coped without Fang's touch as they reunite on Pulse after their short but agonising time apart. (Set during FFXIII)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Integrate

_Hold me._

Your fingers are locked tightly at the small of my back, strong, protective. They could never let go and I would feel no remorse. We could die here, like this, your lips on my neck, thighs pressed to my sides, your hair feather soft under my chin and I would not mourn for the life we lost. For there is nothing outside of the fire of your eyes, the way your breath catches as I move one hand below your hips, the stinging of my brand matching the soft shock of your teeth on my skin. Your laugh is husky as you bite again, teasing. That laugh is the melody of my childhood. It is warm summer nights, it is the chattering of pulsian insects, it is a world that is now lost to us both. It is comfort and family and love. As you push me back onto the ground, gentle but firm, caring but eager, I wonder how I ever managed without you, without this. I wonder how I slept, how I ate, how I lived without your presence there to complete me. Your hands ghost over my body and I shudder, a gasp caught in my throat like the beating wings of the butterflies in my stomach. You’ve always been so strong, so powerful, so dynamic but in the moonlight I see the shining white of your brand and I am reminded of your mortality. We are the same, you and I. Mere vessels that exist for a sole purpose, shells of what we once were, munition in a war we never wanted to fight. Ready to be used and discarded. Terrified.

But you would never admit that you were afraid, not even to me. You’ve never feared for your own life, death is an inevitability to you, but the thought of losing me drove you to near madness. Your fear manifested itself in anger, in violent outbursts, shattered mirrors and hoarse apologies. Your fear was the sounds of screaming as you awoke from yet another nightmare, the sweat a glistening sheet over your shaking body. Your fear was the way you clung tighter each day. Oerba worried for me, young and meek, whilst you were silently destroying yourself. Every grin was a lie, every teasing joke a show of absolute dishonesty. You couldn’t waver. You still cannot. Your bravery is my stronghold. It is the foundation by which I rise above the parapet of fear and continue in this battle. Your whispered comforts form a barricade with which I am sheltered from the harsh realities of our fate.

You are murmuring in my ear now, incoherent and meaningful, odd words caught between your sighs as my hands move between your legs. It is in this moment that you are at your most beautiful. Your raw emotions escaping your lips like birds from a cage, your body sensitive and defenceless to my touch. Love is nothing but a word, simple letters strung together in an attempt to find meaning, but in these moments love is tangible. When I am with you, when I am truly with you, love is the every quiver of our heartbeats, every ragged sound your body emits, rough as the aura that defines you.

_"I love you. I love you. I love you."_

Your rushed affections stammer between moans, matching the steady rhythm of my fingers. They muffle beneath my kiss, desperate and needy. We’ve danced to this pattern so many times before but I will never stop wanting this. I will never stop wanting your strength, your protection, your intensity. But I will never stop treasuring those moments where you let yourself go, when you let the barriers you’ve so carefully built around yourself fall, exposing yourself to me and me only. Your tears are cruel adornments to the bond between us, your insecurities gnaw at the very fibers of your soul but when you confess them to me they become precious stones, reminders of the binds that tie us, of the extent to which I am trusted. The scars of your past are as innate as the stubborness of your defiance or the wild fearlessness of your quick and agile movements. You have been shaped by the losses that you have suffered. Your heart is a wounded animal, made stronger by the horrors you have witnessed, fighting for survival until the every end. Fighting for me. Your love is organic, unrefined, it sears through your veins – you will not lose another. You will not feel pain as you did again. It is this knowledge that instils the confidence in me that, when this is over, when all is done, we will be together, whether in life or in death. You believe that you would give your life to save me, assuming that I could not do the same. In this you are wrong. I am not you; I fear the concept of eternal sleep, of fatality’s cruel grip, but as long as I am with you I do not care for fear. I would follow you in death as I would follow you to the edges of this world. The demise of my body is nothing compared to the thought of life without you. It was this thought that comforted me through our separations, that dried my tears as I fought through another day without you. We will be together, somehow.

I hear my name escape your mouth as you climax, a one word serenade, familiar and pure. The harshness of your breathing slowly subsides as you run your fingers through my hair, lazy and contended. I still shiver, even after all this time. After all we have been through. For your touch is a constant, it is the substance I crave, the element of this life that I cannot and would not live without. The tips of your usually abrasive fingers are as gentle as the sweet nothings you whisper to me, lost in the midst of each other. They carry with them the hope of a new day, the desire to fight tooth and nail until we can be together unthreatened by the cruel twists of nature. Dawn approaches all too quickly. As we fall into a heavy sleep, I curl myself up beside you, listening to the beating of your heart, to the steady motion of life within you, to the guarantee that I am still whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews etc appreciated, I wasn't too sure about this but there isn't much fanfiction for this pair so thought I'd post anyway. Thanks for reading :)


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